first lesson

today I had my first lesson with Jonathan Crow.

I took the Montreal subway down to McGill.

Walked from the subway station over to the Schulich School of Music.

Upstairs to the studio where teaches.

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After an almost 8 year hiatus from having a teacher and being able to sit in one place every day and practice: today I felt like I began to really move forward again.

I learned some things that excited me…that made me feel like I could do it, and that my dreams were getting a bit closer.

There are so many things to learn and do, but I am glad that I am on the right track, with a great teacher who will be able to help me play my very best.

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And on the 15th – I am flying out to Halifax for several days to have some intensive study with another terrific violinist and teacher that I have mentioned before on this blog – Robert Uchida.

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Each day is another step closer.

the audition game

my very first foray into the audition world was over a year ago.

Edmonton was holding assistant concertmaster auditions.

We had just arrived home from our overseas trip.

I was too ambitious.

I didn’t even make the audition. It was too much, too soon after getting home and trying to play again.

My second audition attempt was successful.

I auditioned to play as a substitute violinist with the ESO. It wasn’t very hard.
I played a little Mozart, some excerpts, not much really.

I’m still on the sub list there, even though I’m out in Montreal right now.

My third audition was not successful.

My third audition was really my first real audition.

I sent in my resume to the ESO to audition for a first violin spot.

I was working for ATB Financial.

I was always exhausted, and practicing four hours after getting home from work was draining; not to mention the fact that our first daughter was born right in there.

That whole time sits in my memory as a fatiguing blur of history that I’m never going to repeat.

The fourth audition attempt was successful.

I auditioned by CD for the Brott Festival Orchestra, and was happily selected from out of a pool of over 400 musicians from across Canada.

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That was my last audition.

The Festival is over, and was a tremendous learning experience. Through the masterclasses, and playing such a huge amount of repertoire over the summer, I have a totally new set of standards for auditions.

My next audition is October 17th.

Just over a month away.

I will fly out to Vancouver, B.C., and audition at the Orpheum Theatre for the third chair, first violin spot – Assistant Concertmaster.

A titled position is always a good thing.

It’s going to be a very difficult audition.

Everything has to be perfect: Scheherezade, Bach’s Erbarme dich, Tchaikovsky’s Swan Lake Scene, Brahms first solo…the regular assortment of first violin excerpts, the first movement of the Sibelius concert, and the first movement of Mozart’s 3rd concerto for violin in G major.

It’s a lot of repertoire. But a professional violinist has to be able to master that music quickly.

I am changing how I think. How I approach practicing is vastly different than it was even a month ago.

If I win that audition, it will be my last for a while…

If I don’t…I have another one in Edmonton, AB.

The 9th chair. January 23, 2011.

Edmonton’s list is not the same as Vancouver’s, but it’s a page more music. Most people who know about the list think it’s a little ridiculous, but the powers that be have so far refused to change it…so we must conform.

And the hope is that by the end of January 2011, I will have a full-time orchestral job as a first violinist.

montreal, montreal

I’ve heard about the city for a long time.

I’ve heard many things about it.

So cultured.

Such a delight to visit.

Montreal.

Now I live here.

A boy from the prairie western province of Alberta in the big city of Montreal.

(Ok, so Edmonton is a decent sized city as well; as is Calgary)

If you were wondering why there hasn’t been a post in well over a week – its because I was moving.

We moved from Hamilton, Ontario to Montreal, Quebec.

We also (as mentioned in my last post) went to visit friends in the Catskills Mountains of New York State, more friends in the City of Brotherly Love (Philadelphia), and made our final stop before going north of the border in the city of cities – New York City.

It was our first time to set foot (and tire) inside that massive metropolis. We drove straight to Times Square, and stayed in the wonderfully accommodating Econo Lodge.

(We decided we would go to the Ritz-Carlton the next time we came.)

We spent 24 crazy hours wandering around wide-eyed in Times Square (past midnight, with baby in a carrier on Mom), and then awoke early the next morning to take one of the most whirlwind tours I have ever been on. Five and a half hours of being yanked from Tiffany’s to Lady Liberty, from Rockefeller Centre to Juilliard, from Central Park to Park Avenue…is kind of tough on someone who wants to get that perfect shot.

Having completed our tour, we continued wandering around Fifth Ave for several hours, eating the compulsory hot-dog from a hot-dog stand, and gawking at all the shops and more shops. We collapsed for a little down time in Central Park before finally wandering over to John’s Pizzeria (apparently the best New York pizza in NYC as recommended by our tour guide and a NYC police officer).

It was terrific pizza, and we ate it on our way out of NYC, as it was already half past seven, and we still had an eight hour drive to get back to Hamilton.

The next few days were a blur of packing and cleaning, and then we were on the road again – up to Montreal!

Settled in at last, I am happy to be starting a rigorous 6-hour a day practice schedule, plus an additional two hours of score studying, listening, and psychological preparation.

There are some big auditions coming up and I want to win them!

More than just a job, I want to be the very best musician I can possibly be, because music is the blood that pumps through my veins, and it is how I express my deepest sentiments, and greatest longings…

So…it’s 11:30 PM here in Quebec, and my beautiful girl and I just finished watching Josh Groban’s Awake DVD together on the couch with some popcorn.

And tomorrow’s another day…

new york, pennsylvania

we are off to New York State for a few days to visit with Mr. Justin Kolb and his wife.

They live in the Catskill Mountains.

He is a pianist, and speaker who came and gave us a seminar at the Brott Festival. He has a great sense of humour and a good perspective on the music industry.

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Then we are going to Pennsylvania to visit some friends we have there…that the Goddess Divine has been looking forward to seeing for quite some time, and is very excited about finally seeing!

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Then it’s home again, and I have a recording to make before we drive up to Montreal!

final rehearsal

tonight completed the final rehearsal for the Brott Festival 2010.

I have mixed emotions; some are sad, and some are happy.

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I am happy because I feel tired and need a break.

I am sad because the Festival is over, which means the fun is over, the people are all going back to their jobs and studies, and last but not least – the money stops.

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This Festival was my first real introduction to orchestral playing. And what an introduction it was!

Definitely a crash course.

I have learned so much, and have been stretched a lot. I have felt like giving up many, many times – but decided to persist.

I love the violin. I love music even more.

I love this career.

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And I have seen so much improvement over the summer.

I am so excited about continuing playing, and about getting better.

The feel of the violin under my chin, and the sound of it close to my ear; the feel of the strings, and the movement of the bow.

There are some changes that will need to be made in my playing, and in my practicing.

The next four months will be a reprieve from the intensity of orchestral playing, and will be a solo flight, so to speak.

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We move to Montreal in a little over a week, and I begin studies with several violin masters up there.

Four months of nothing but dedicated honing.

Intensive refinement.

Discipline. Discipline. Discipline.

I beat myself in order to win the race.

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On January 23rd, 2011 I will audition for the Edmonton Symphony Orchestra.

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And, God willing – I will win the 9th chair.

beethoven’s ninth

it’s the last concert of the Brott Festival.

I wore a new Hilfiger polo shirt and chinos to the first rehearsals. Not necessarily to commemorate the occasion; just because I like looking trendy and Tommy Hilfiger had a great sale on.

Beethoven wrote his 9th 12 years after he wrote his first 8 symphonies. He wrote the first 8 symphonies in about 12 years, and the 9th he wrote – twelve years later.

You can sense a difference in this symphony; it seems more mature, more aged; deeper.

Beethoven is almost like playing Bach. There’s something very right about it all.

It just works. It says something very important.

Destiny. The brotherhood of man.

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I am sitting close to the back of the seconds. I don’t really mind, other than the timpani banging right behind me. I swear I am going deaf from it. I can literally feel the vibrations. I can’t really hear myself that well.

It is fortunate I am in the seconds though, as I am trying to finish preparing a scholarship audition recording, and I unfortunately don’t have hours to practice my part; so it’s probably a good thing that I’m further back. So I hit as many notes as I can. Not good enough,  I know – especially not for the masterpiece of Ludwig’s ninth.

It will get better. We have rehearsals tomorrow, Thursday, and Friday. Then the concert, Friday night.

My uncle and aunt are driving up from Wheatley to attend. I am excited that they can come; it will be fun to have some family at a concert. It would have been nice to have my dad and mom see me playing for the first time really ever in an orchestra this summer; but that will have to wait.

It’s also why I am working so hard this fall to win the Edmonton Symphony audition; 9th chair.

Edmonton concerts are a bit more feasible than Hamilton.

After the concert at Mohawk on Friday night, I record on Sunday, and then we are off to New York, and then Montreal.

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Au revoir!

there’s nothing like coming home to having the Firebird Suite by Igor sitting on your plate.

add to that delightful sentence the fact that you’ve never even seen the music.

if the Firebird was all, it would’ve been no problem.

but in addition to FB (not Facebook you internet junkies – Firebird!) there is also Pyotr’s Swan Lake Suite, a new work by Malcolm Forsyth for solo violin and orchestra (Trickster Coyote – Lightning Elk), and then several selections from Beethoven’s Prometheus.

My sight-reading, although having drastically improved over the summer, is still not quite up to par to perfectly read a load like that.

All that said though, I have to say I was very happy to arrive home from Alberta and actually look forward to playing music again.

Really look forward to it.

I think that’s the first job in my life that I’ve ever really looked forward to.

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Software development – was OK. But I was bored so often, and instead trolled the internet and yakked away (wasted, in other words) my time chatting to countless people I had never (and still have never) met. (Come on, I was a foolish 17 year old)

Photography was definitely a step up. Not so many time boundaries. A lot more fun. Definitely more artistic. And I could sit and edit pictures while listening to my favourite tunes for hours. But I always felt guilty every time I thought of the violin, or heard the violin, or even drove past a concert hall. This incredible, internal guilt that I had betrayed the violin.

After that I got married. That was awesome. We traveled for six months. That added to the awesome.

But life has to go on. I came back and worked carpentry for two months. That was definitely a nail-biter. Probably the worst character-building experience I’ve had.

We traveled for another two months around North America. Life still goes on.

I came back to Alberta and worked at ATB Financial. As a bank teller.

That job wasn’t too bad; except for the fact that I did the same thing every single day. It drove me nuts, and I was only there for 7 months.

Finally – I am back to the violin. Music.

I am never looking back.

off for a week

tonight the NAO really rocked out and crooned to Elvis tunes…

Steve Kabakos was Elvis, and I must say – he look a LOT like Elvis.

He also got a lot of screaming and yelling…

It was a pretty fun show, complete with clapping and all!

Watch the Brott Blog for more details of that concert!

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at 3 AM tomorrow morning, we are off to the Toronto Pearson Airport to fly off to Edmonton, AB for a week of crazyness!

I don’t think we know how to slow down. (Well, we do, but…)

Tomorrow morning, we arrive at 9 AM.

I am picking up a violin at 11.

Family time for the rest of the day (with my family in Edmonton)

Friday I have a meeting for a concert I am doing next year.

Drive to Olds – visiting with my sister and her family.

Saturday is photographing a wedding all day in Calgary.

Saturday night – drive to Lethbridge. (with the Goddess Divine’s parents)

Sunday – finally we can relax a bit!

Tuesday we drive back to Edmonton.

Wednesday we fly back to Hamilton!

on the home stretch

first rehearsal after three days (almost four) off.

less than three weeks until the Festival is over.

We’re on the home stretch folks!

After the previous month – a very taxing, practice-filled, rehearsal-loaded month – I would like to say that the days we had off were relaxing; but that wouldn’t be entirely true.

After the masterclass with Rob Uchida (which I wrote about in my last post), I didn’t touch my violin for the rest of the day.

Saturday, the Goddess Divine, Little Princess, and I – drove to Niagara Falls for the day. That was laid back, and quite enjoyable.

(Other than paying $15 for all day parking and then realizing there was a $5 all day parking lot next door, that is.)

We wandered around the Falls, leisurely walked through some gardens, sat on the grass for a while, and then went to Boston Pizza for a little bite to eat before driving back home.

Sunday morning, we heard back from a couple of people in Montreal regarding a place to rent for the fall. After going to fellowship in the morning, we drove over 6 hours up to Quebec.

That was a first for both of us!

I don’t think either of us expected as big of a culture shift as we found.

Beyond the Quebec border; we were hard pressed to find any English whatsoever.

Most people spoke English if asked; but French definitely was the language of dominance.

I shouldn’t be surprised, and I wasn’t really. It just took me a bit to adjust.

It was like we had just gone to another country.

We looked at an apartment in Le Plateau, and then another in Ahuntsic.

Although Le Plateau was adorable, and looked quite European, it was a bit too King’s Cross like for us (Sydney, Australia), and we opted for the quieter Ahuntsic neighbourhood.

It was a cheaper place, and it had far more space.

We spent the night at a hotel, and then signed the lease in the morning – and then began what would be an almost-8-hour-trip back to Hamilton.

And that was our weekend!

Rehearsals for Elvis Lives began today, as I mentioned earlier – and the concert is tomorrow night.

After that – our little family is off for a week to Alberta for some real home stretch time!

mental block

maybe you can call it writer’s block.

lack of inspiration.

general tiredness?

probably all lame excuses for why I have written virtually nothing for a week.

Jan Lisiecki came and went. Fifteen years old.

He has played all over the world already, and he performed a whole Chopin piano concerto, as well as ripping up the keyboard with several other decent-sized concert pieces.

Kind of makes one feel like hanging up the whole musical endeavor and going to make money at a bank again. (I hear the CEO’s make great money.)

The chances of becoming the CEO of a bank are probably greater than my chances of becoming a soloist like Jan. Or like James Ehnes. Pinchas Zukerman.

In fact, in a seminar we had this week by the humorous and insightful Justin Kolb I learned that there is a greater chance of making it as a professional NBA ball player than there is of making it as an instrumental soloist. That had me depressed for a few minutes.

And then I start thinking how Jean Sibelius worked his fingers off to make it into the Vienna Phil – with no success. (Maybe I should pursue composition.)

But then, this morning I participated in a masterclass with Rob Uchida. The guy is amazing. So detailed.

I love it.

Made me want to study with him. (Which I might actually get to do some of this fall.)

But more importantly, Rob made me realize something important.

Playing well, in the end, doesn’t really owe itself to who you study with, or where you went to school.

It has everything to do with how you approach the music and your playing – yourself.

If I am not practicing with the amount of detail needed to win an audition – no matter who I study with, I will never win an audition. I may try to find a teacher for years who will fix me.

But I will never find him or her, because the real fixing has to come from me. I have to take control of how I play. I have to take control of how I practice.

Until then, I will keep playing silly mistakes and probably never find a job.

However, as of today, I feel like I have opened up a different psychology of practicing and playing (thanks to Rob.)

I can’t mess around. I’m not just playing an instrument. I have to live a lifestyle of attention to detail, extreme focus, and exhausting discipline.

It can’t be anything else.

So enough with the mental block.

I want to play like James Ehnes, Pinchas Zukerman, Jonathan Crow, and Rob Uchida. I don’t want to be a “good amateur violinist” anymore.

I want to be a serious artist, one whom people take seriously, and one whom people will get excited listening to.